Mr. Speaker

While flicking casually through various shoutcast TV streams today, I came to focus my attention on an old documentary about computers, or offices, or machines, or office workers, or computerised office workers, or something.

It was pretty good.

Anyhoo, I think it was called “The Secret Life of Offices”, or “The Secret Life of Computerised Office Workers” or something.

Being the ever-resourceful one, I thought I’d look it up on the local library catalogue to see if they held a copy.

I typed “secret life of” into the title search.

The returned result set detailed a shocking titling conspiracy, revealing once and for all: the secret life of The Secret Life Of…
(more…)

Talented people. God I hate them. How dare they sit around making our meagre accomplishments look meagre? Well, they dare. They dare.

Case in point: Graffiti Wall for Facebook. It provides you with a skeleton tool set - a colour picker, a brush size selector, an opacity selector, and 152592 pixels on which to use them…Not much you can do with that, right?

Well, let me tell you, people… are… freaks. Yeah thanks guys. Way to take the fun out of it.

So what can one do if one is filled with artistic desire, yet has the drawing skills of Ken Done? Is the answer to take a drawing class at the local TAFE, read up on techniques, watch instructional YouTube videos, and practice 1 hour everyday?
(more…)

Possession of low-voltage consumer electronics. A love of very noisy things. A do-it-yourself aesthetic - Do you possess these items and/or attributes? Then come join the Circuit Bending hoedown! It’s disturbing and easy! Here’s the how and why (no, actually, the how and what)…

Circuit Bending is the art of messing with the electronics inside of stuff that makes noise, in order to make new and more useful random noise. The goal is to augment gadgets, kids toys, guitar pedals and cheap synths with new knobs, buttons, switches and “body contacts” that boldly go where no manufacturer would ever be bothered going.
(more…)

Let’s get this straight - I ain’t nobody’s shill. I don’t shill. But I am a half-decent consumer and I can appreciate a good product. As rare as they might be.

So I’m lending some valuable Mr Speaker cyber^* space to The PlusDeck 2c Cassette Player - which transcends the status of mere “good product” and reaches towards the realms of the consumer-good God.

It takes a couple of minutes to comprehend the genius that is the PlusDeck 2c: A 5.25″ front-loading drive that plays cassettes. Cassettes!

CASSETTES!

Anyway, I can’t stay here yapping about it all day. I’m only up to 1985 Bustin’ Thru. After that I’ve got 1986 Way To Go, then some He-Man, JEM and the Holograms, and Amway motivational tapes. What an afternoon.

After I figure out a killer set I reckon I’ll be ready for the 2007 Cassette Jockey World Championships. I just need another PlusDeck, and a microphone.

^*Cybernetic.

Tags: tapes, shill

Epiphanic moments of genius are relatively rare. Especially for me. That’s why I was kind of surprised to have one last Saturday night. It germinated while I waited for my change at the bar, and had blossomed into a fully-fledged revelation by the time I returned to my seat at the back of the room.

It began when I was charged with the mission of retrieving three beers; A Reschs for myself, a New for my friend, and a V.B. for a newly-met acquaintance at our table.

On the return journey I happened across a couple of friends I had not seen for some time. I sat at their table and had a brief “catch up”, before remarking that I had been charged with a mission of retrieving three beers and had better conclude that mission with haste.

I picked up the bounty of beers and returned to my table. Then, without so much as a tinge of self-doubt, I gave the correct beers to the correct persons and we merrily drank up.
(more…)

Well, it has truly it has been a gruelling experience. There have been astonishing highs, and borderline-dull lows - but the Reverse Boonjaneering has been complete. Da Boony Code is broken and I am now proud to present to you a review of the resurrected Controllable Talking Boon!

It was a sunny Thursday afternoon, the city was quiet. Yet I was nervous - My Talking Boony was about to go under the knife. Not very carefully I wrapped the lil’ plastic hero in bubble wrap, chucked him in a box, and sent him off to Melbourne. A mournful drink was drunk in honour. It was in Tim’s hands now.

(more…)