Mr. Speaker

Everyone (who is a nerd) loves the XmlHTTPRequest. It’s awesome is why. The web starts behaving like applications. Things work how they are supposed to, and mum and dad don’t need to know anything about post-backs and submit buttons - “Submit? Submit to what?!”

There are a myriad of examples of Asynchronous Javascript and XML (errgh, ajax? I give it two thumbs down. But I’m too lazy to think of something better, so I’ll shut up on that front) that show why it’s the greatest thing since the 1 pixel gif. (Check out fiftyfoureleven.com. That’s got some swanky stuff)

For all its goodness, however, something smells a little funny about this holy grail of web communication… like beer and chocolate before it, there is an evil side to what - on the surface - seems pure and innocent.

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ABBA recorded songs in 5 different languages. Although their songs would be classics in any language, by re-recording the songs in the native tongue of various countries they strengthened their fan base and spread their message effectively. NBC’s comedy the office has taken a leaf out of the ABBA marketing guide and re-released BBC’s The Office in American.

“Longhorn” is the rather ridiculous name given to the next version of the Microsoft Windows operating system. It has been a long time coming. Frequent delays have forced Microsoft to omit various features that were going to make their debut in this release. But they have to get Longhorn out soon, ‘cause they need some more cash.

Pictures of the new version have been circulating, and a review of it can be found on the winsupersite site. I had a look around and noticed some pretty weird stuff about these leaked images…

The most shocking discovery was that the screen shots appear to have come from a person who has a relationship of some description with the Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard. Could this be Bill Gates’ machine, and if so, why does he have a “stack” (as it’ll be called in Longhorn) of documents about our main man?

Mr Speaker is not one to speculate without valid sources, but it would most certainly seem that John Howard and Bill Gates are planning to create a small Internet start-up company that will sell “virtual-handicrafts”.

More details as they come to hand.

Rüssel ist Krank is allegorical work detailing an illness affected elephant, presumably named Rüssel, and his nameless friend/carer - a mouse who is attempting to help Rüssel on his road to recovery.

(Editors note: This review will contain spoilers. If you have intent to read this book in the near future then skip the last sections.)

Rüssel ist krank presents a dark, dystopian view of present day society. An excellent example of modern post-post-modern work, it contains absolutely no text and uses coloured line drawings to convey the unravelling story. The author’s ironic use of bright colours mixed with troubling anthropomorphisation generates an ironic and often disturbing sense of comedy.

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Blog. Stupid word, stupid idea. People who no one care about writing about stuff no one cares about while massively increasing the amount of mis-information available on the internet. Blogs are great. Like the bedroom house and techno producers before them, bloggers imagine that banging out some formulaic, uninspired crap will achieve them world-wide super-stardom and the esteem of their peers with minimal effort.

Unfortunately, just as boy bands need to turn out some musical vomit to be able to have adoring fans, the blogger needs to pen some shit.

Persevering, I rise up,,, I mean the blogger rises up to the challenge of their rivals, or, um, something. A masterpiece is born. All to do now is sit back and wait for the accolades that will pour in, in the form of ecstatic reader comments.

0 comments.

0 comments. Can there be anything more spirit crushing? Well sure there can, but it’s been weeks, and still nothing. Perhaps the readers are so awestruck they feel intimidated? Perhaps there’s a problem with the blogging software? Perhaps a hacker, oh wait! A comment! Yep, it says right there “1 comment”!!!

From: 231.253.2.31
Email: 2bFFde@231.254.2.31
Comment: 8349 http://www.bigboobs_roulette_poker.com - play this site for real money and women!

What? No. It can’t be. Well, at least its a comment. Never look a gift spam in the mouth. In fact, if you close your eyes, and trust in your heart, you can actually believe that the comments really were meant for you. Here are the most insightful and english-esque ones that have turned up to Mr Speaker. I was going to delete them, but, you know, at least they’re comments…

Compliments

• thankd for great site
• Excellent blog, definitely worth a bookmark.
• A pleasure to look at, go on with this! Thanks!
• Thanks for sharing your insights with us.
• Good morning, I am new to this site. I have just learned about this from my supervisor, Gayle Broad Algoma University. I am going to read on and it’s very interesting to know
• Very good webpage you have here and best greetings to all your visitors
• Excellent idea and design! I’ll be back when I have more time…I`l go to …..
• Great website, it was actually quite helpful however I was wondering if you had anything pertaining to a particular topic, say for instance Nature. I said it was real helpful.
• Cool site, I’d say hi and best wishes, and more………

Aww shucks. It’s always nice to be complimented for your hard work. Thanks very much for those lovely comments dave61, a#43sd3, texas-holdem, animepornanimal, black older lady, and more…… I’m glad you enjoyed the site.

Insults

• you know sometimes, I wonder if theres anyone at the healm?
• Whatever, we’ll have to see about that.
• OMG you must be totally retarded.
• I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

There are some valid points here, I will concede. All have certainly helped me ponder my work with a token of quiet self-reflection. Thanks guys for the constructive, if somewhat direct, criticism.

Lost the plot

• wow , just found this site again . Back in Germany ,Dsseldorf are still going strong I hope to be in Holland with them in February . Check them out at the Gander on 13th Feb.
• The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been. Just email me at [removed]@postmaster.co.uk if you don’t want me posting on your site again.
• The Spice Girls? Is it a book?
• look to the skies. its february and the time is alway. on and on and on of the science. Play poker online.

Cool. Ta.

Well, that’s this post done. Can’t wait to be famous man. In the interim, always remember - “On and on and on of the science”!

Mr. Speaker presents a brief historical comparision of Tokugawa Japan and the 1981 video game PacMan, in point form.

Introduction

• The first Shogun of the Tokugawa period was Tokugawa Ieyasu.
  He was a pretty dang good Shogun, heavily influencing japanese history and achieving almost unlimited power and wealth.
• The first video game to spawn its own line of merchandising was PacMan.
  PacMan was created by Namco designer Toru Iwatani and is the best selling coin-operated game in history.

Definitions

• Shogun means “Foreign barbarian subduing generalissimo”.
  It was applied to Ieyasu after he defeated the Hideyori loyalists and other Western rivals.
• PacMan has no meaning.
  It was changed at the last minute from PuckMan so that no one would graffitti the machines and make rude words.
• Tokugawa Ieyasu was the major ruler throughout the Tokugawa period.
  The Tokugawa period was a time of peace that allowed visual and performing arts to flourish.
  The Tokugawa period lasted from 1603 to 1868.
• PacMan was the major ruler throughout the 80’s.
  The 80’s was a time of innocence and neon that allowed anyone who so desired become a pop/rock star.
  The 80’s lasted from 1980 to about mid 1988.
  

Interesting point

• There have been many periods (jidai) in Japan’s history.
• There has been only one 80’s.

The mystery of the monikers

• All of the periods had an alternate name. I don’t know why.
  The Tokugawa period was also called the Edo Period. Edo was the name of the place that is now known as Tokyo.
  The Momoyama period (1568 to 1603) was also known as the Azushi period. The Muromachi period (1336 to 1568) was also called the Ashikaga period. An so on.
• All of the ghosts in PacMan had an alternate name. I don’t know why.
  • Shadow, Speedy, Bashful and Pokey had nicknames of Inky Pinky Blinky and Clyde.
  • Their Japanese names were Oikake, Machibuse, Kimagure and Otoboke.
  • Their nicknames were Akabei, Pinky, Aosuke and Guzuta.
• They also had alternate names. I dont know why.
  • Their alternate names were Urchin, Romp, Stylist and Crybaby.
  • Their alternate nicknames were Macky, Micky, Mucky and Mocky.
• The common ghost name in Japanese and English was “Pinky”

Summary and conclusions

• No Shogun was ever called Pinky.