Mr. Speaker

What’s your email address Sharkie?! Far out….

Nothing like a major milestone to throw you into a whirl of nostalgic self-reflection. Today I’m 30. 30 years old. There’s no doubt about it - I’ve done the maths and it adds up. I’ve tried recounting everyday since my first memory (a huge green praying-mantis in the back yard) but there are certainly a lot of holes in there.

One thing I’ve noticed to be a recurring theme in the mesmerizing drama that is/was my life is the presence of computers. If my existence were portrayed as an art flick, you’d turn to your friend 3/4 of the way through and say “What’s with all the computers?”

In case one or more of you out there wish to produce such a film, I’ll supply some background information - so you get the details right.
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Sorry about the wierdness around here folks… I’ve been away for a spot of brain surgery. The craniotomy so far has not given me any of the special gifts promised by trepanning. I’ll keep a third eye on it though.

In other Mr Speaker news, while I was gone my hosting provider (smartyhost) decided to pull some wizardry of incompetence on my site. It’s kind of back and runnin’ now, but I think I’ve lost a whole swag of comments from you lot. So, you’ll just have to say something else to make up for it.

Update… no, not up and running. Even more dodgy-ness from my provider.

Update on the updates: HALLELUJAH!!!! Well, it only took two weeks of constant nagging and insisting that things were broken… but it’s back! Sorry bout the down time…

It started out in August of 2004 as an idea - To jump on the band wagon and start a blog. So many one years later, Mr Speaker clocks up the historic 51st post. Oh what a time it’s been - the tears, the sadness, the happiness. Let us now take a retrospective tour of the magic that has made up the 51 posts of ‘Mr Speaker’…

In the beginning…
On a grey morning in August of 2004 it appeared… Sydney Ferries Change Their Tune - undoubtably the most indepth journalistic account of the infamous “change of ferry messages” incident of 2004 and certainly a sign of the quality, and indeed quantity, that would ensue. A meteoric rise to the top seemed inevitable…
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ull time employment. The destroyer of spirits, and crusher of dreams. What is it for? Surely it serves a purpose greater than paying your taxes. For we all know that wherever dark, oppressive forces rule - the flower of nobility and art sprout through.

And for the employee, that flower takes the form of the Friday Afternoon Beer. The closest most of us will ever come to pure enlightenment.

So to ease the quotidian burdens that lay ahead, here’s a handy tool for tracking your time ’till enlightenment: Beer o’clock - The Firefox extension. A little app that sits patiently, alerting you periodically, reminding you of your purpose in life. Keeping you focused. A great productivity tool.

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What a birthday I had this year.

I was given a Nutrigrain E.T. from a work colleague. Although I have had a life long fear of that horrifying (and most probably evil) movie character, I was impressed with the likeness and hopeful that once my colleague forgot about the gift I could flog it on ebay.
The next present I received was a tin of wasabi peas which I ate while admiring my new nutri-friend. Due to my equal mix of happiness and horror caused by simultaneosly thinking about my birthday and the ugly freak that Spielberg decided to unleash upon my untainted mind all those years ago, I became distracted and dropped a few of the wasabi peas on the floor.

As I picked up the last of the so-undeservedly-wasted peas, I noticed that it held a passable likeness to Waldorf (or is it Statler?), of “The Muppet’s Statler and Waldorf” fame. Wow! What a birthday this was shaping up to be.

Unfortunately my plans for seeking my fortune with these babies on ebay went bad that very eve, after I accidently ate the wasabi pea, and a rat or a bunch of cockroaches or something of similar capabilities ate half of E.T. Oh well.

I also got a bunch of other cool stuff for my birthday, but none of them looked like celebrities. I wonder if I could get Steven Spielberg to reimburse me for the dropped wasabi peas.